My suggestions for a good life (because no one likes advice...)
Mood: bitter
My number one suggestion for life: don't do well, don't do horribly, just go through at the medium.
Why? Let me tell you a little story of my high school career. In the beginning, I did average. When I did manage to pull off an A on a test or quiz, I was congratulated. Being a kid, I liked the attention (and still do. Who doesn't like to be praised for doing well?) As the years went by, I became a better student. Oh if only I had known what was to come...
You see, after you begin to continually do well, it suddenly just becomes expected of you. People rarely congratulate/compliment you at all. This pissed me off royally when I found that out. I like my 'me' attention, dammit! To top off the school aspect, once you are always expected to do well, you are reprimanded for doing poorly every single time. Now, if you do average in school, then a bad grade here and there isn't going to shock anyone.
Then, to really get you going, people begin to expect you to do well in other things in life just because you do well in school. Holy crap! Since when did I have to share? I don't know, but I have this suspicion that it was for being nice to people most of the time. I won't let that bite me in the ass again. Actually, that brings up a good point as well....Don't always be nice because before you know it, you'll somehow be volunteered to help other people you really don't give a damn about. Nothing pisses me off so much as being volunteered to help other people when I wasn't consulted. It's my labor, and the next bastard who tries to even suggest to someone else that I might help them is going to find my foot so far up his/her ass that he/she will be able to taste the leather sole.
Let's move on to being computer savvy: Don't let people know you are somewhat intelligent when it comes to computers. All of a sudden people start thinking that you are the next best person aside from Bill Gates to ask for computer help. I'll tell you right now, I'm not patient, and I don't like to help people. This makes for a very bad combination when helping computer illiterate people. I can't even be nice to my own mother when I say close/minimize the window, and she just stares at me dumbfounded. Come on, woman! You're 49, not stupid!
Suggestions for height: Don't be tall. I'm 6'5", and I'm paying the price dearly. Every time I go to the grocery store, some person has the audacity to interrupt me and ask to reach something off a high shelf. Once or twice is okay, but it always happens more than that! What happened to the common sense of yore when people never EVER talked to strangers? Let's revive that habit.
As I continue to rant, you should notice the underlying meaning: mediocrity is the key (and also, I don't seem to get along with people, but that doesn't pertain to you readers). Damn straight it is. One of my favorite quotes is (more or less): "If the minimum wasn't enough then it wouldn't be called the minimum." Truer words have never been spoken. Now go out there and be the best mediocre person you can be!
My number one suggestion for life: don't do well, don't do horribly, just go through at the medium.
Why? Let me tell you a little story of my high school career. In the beginning, I did average. When I did manage to pull off an A on a test or quiz, I was congratulated. Being a kid, I liked the attention (and still do. Who doesn't like to be praised for doing well?) As the years went by, I became a better student. Oh if only I had known what was to come...
You see, after you begin to continually do well, it suddenly just becomes expected of you. People rarely congratulate/compliment you at all. This pissed me off royally when I found that out. I like my 'me' attention, dammit! To top off the school aspect, once you are always expected to do well, you are reprimanded for doing poorly every single time. Now, if you do average in school, then a bad grade here and there isn't going to shock anyone.
Then, to really get you going, people begin to expect you to do well in other things in life just because you do well in school. Holy crap! Since when did I have to share? I don't know, but I have this suspicion that it was for being nice to people most of the time. I won't let that bite me in the ass again. Actually, that brings up a good point as well....Don't always be nice because before you know it, you'll somehow be volunteered to help other people you really don't give a damn about. Nothing pisses me off so much as being volunteered to help other people when I wasn't consulted. It's my labor, and the next bastard who tries to even suggest to someone else that I might help them is going to find my foot so far up his/her ass that he/she will be able to taste the leather sole.
Let's move on to being computer savvy: Don't let people know you are somewhat intelligent when it comes to computers. All of a sudden people start thinking that you are the next best person aside from Bill Gates to ask for computer help. I'll tell you right now, I'm not patient, and I don't like to help people. This makes for a very bad combination when helping computer illiterate people. I can't even be nice to my own mother when I say close/minimize the window, and she just stares at me dumbfounded. Come on, woman! You're 49, not stupid!
Suggestions for height: Don't be tall. I'm 6'5", and I'm paying the price dearly. Every time I go to the grocery store, some person has the audacity to interrupt me and ask to reach something off a high shelf. Once or twice is okay, but it always happens more than that! What happened to the common sense of yore when people never EVER talked to strangers? Let's revive that habit.
As I continue to rant, you should notice the underlying meaning: mediocrity is the key (and also, I don't seem to get along with people, but that doesn't pertain to you readers). Damn straight it is. One of my favorite quotes is (more or less): "If the minimum wasn't enough then it wouldn't be called the minimum." Truer words have never been spoken. Now go out there and be the best mediocre person you can be!
posted by cjufnf at 7:16 PM
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